I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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