I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
