sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
