I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
