Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
