I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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