I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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