physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
