I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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