He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
