real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
