do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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