the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
