Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
