big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
