I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
