What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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