went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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