Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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