OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Fuck appropriateness.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
