well you can't waste a boner
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
