me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
