He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
