How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
