I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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