I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
