How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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