i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
