There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
