I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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