She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
