just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
