dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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