Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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