I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
