the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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