Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
