Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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