Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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