If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
