Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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