so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
