just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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