therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
