fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
