I CAN MOONWALK!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
