remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
