$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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