I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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