wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
