so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
