i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the gays at disneyland are vicious
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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