You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
