Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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