there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
