I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
